A Little Bit Further Along
“Encourage one another.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
In 2021 author Tim Challies introduced me to the ministry of being just a little bit further along. Challies writes:
What most people need and long for as they face trials and encounter questions is simply the dedicated attention of someone who is a little bit further along, the listening ear and gentle voice of someone who is a few steps ahead on the path of life, or the path of ministry, or the path of suffering, or the path of parenting. Most are merely seeking someone who will informally mentor them from the perspective of their own successes and failures, their own experiences of good and bad, the godly wisdom they have accumulated along the way.
I understood the concept of being a little further along in parenting, mentoring, and discipleship, but Tim Challies’ words in Seasons of Sorrow really helped me by being a little further ahead of me in my own grief. Challies’ only son Nick died suddenly in November 2020. Over the next year, Challies wrote a series of grief reflections as he personally processed his grief. Those words were eventually published as Seasons of Sorrow: the pain of loss and the comfort of God in September 2022. That book is now my favorite “go to” resource for friends or family members who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Over the last two weeks, I’ve gifted several Seasons of Sorrow to sisters who lost a beloved brother; a mother who lost a dear son; and a cousin who lost her Mom.
I’ve also been able to share some of my own grief experiences since James Bruce’s sudden death 18 months ago. The wisdom, insight, and comfort that I gained from Tim Challies’ words, I am now able to share with others by being a little further along in my grief journey.
But the ministry of being a little bit further along isn’t just limited to grief. Since his recent surgery, Bruce has been greatly encouraged by other open heart cardiovascular patients who have successfully completed cardiac rehab programs and continue to live long, full, productive lives. They are a little bit of further along.
My sister is scheduled to begin her three weeks of breast cancer radiation treatments this Wednesday. I completed my radiation treatments four months ago. By being a little further along, I can offer some helpful advice and encourage Jan before her radiation treatments begin. I am further along in my breast cancer journey.
In a few days, I’ll be speaking to a group of younger moms whose sons will be playing high school football this fall. As an older mom with two sons who successfully played the sport, I hope to encourage and equip these women for some of the highs and lows that are inevitable with children playing high school athletics. It’s the ministry of being a little bit further along.
Our daughter Meredith is a young mom whose daughters are now 11, 9, and 4 years old. Last week Meredith taught a women’s Bible study using Numbers 11 and Moses’ prayer: “the burden is too heavy for me” (Numbers 11:14). As part of her lesson, Meredith shared an October 2013 entry from her online prayer journal. At that time, Meredith was a first time mom and her oldest daughter was a not quite 2-year old toddler.
“I feel helpless with Julia and our days... I’m not getting anything done around the house or on our taxes. She is having meltdowns and crying fits over everything… I don’t know how to handle it. It’s exhausting and bewildering…Please give me wisdom Lord in responding to these tantrums and training her to control her emotions and desires and learning to obey and appreciate what is done for her and given to her. I pray that she will have a cheerful and thankful heart. I pray that she will learn to be respectful & sharing. I pray that she will learn your Word and that you will change her heart. Help me to be diligent in teaching her your Word. I trust you with the fruit in her life. Strengthen me Lord, for I am discouraged as a mom. I feel under the pile and I just want to rest and escape all the “to do’s.”
Meredith’s honesty in sharing that ten-year-old prayer was an encouragement for the younger moms who were present. She now can see the fruit of that prayer, not just in her daughter’s life, but in her own as well. It’s the ministry of being a little bit further along.
Author John Maxwell once said, “Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.” Who can you encourage today by being a little bit further along?